I guss we all change a bit

Hehe.  Have not been using my journal for something like two years. Not that I've not been LJ active, just haven't used the journal bit. There's just no time.
Had to go change my date of birth, the year wasn't visible, and hence was shocked to see what my listed interest were, and especially my "about me".
To firstly be clear, nothing strange about my interests, just not what I'd put now. Like, Ocar Wilde and Enya. Enya?? Huh. Now that I think about it I did once have an Enya phase. Guess I wrote it during that time. And I love Oscar Wilde's stuff, but it doesn't really belong on my LJ interest list along with Spander and d/s.

Now for the great part. I'm gonna delete this, because it's not a description of me anymore, but I just had to save it! That was actually one of the main reasons for my infrequent journal entries back in the day. I just wanted to keep a part of that me, because I knew I'd change and forget what I felt like just then. That's just life I suppose.

So here it is, my "about me", dated, I'd guess, about 2007ish:

Well, hello there! I'm Little Miss Maddie. I actually got this account because I read so much fanfic, and most people seem to have one. I thought it would be a good mean for communication with the online world. We'll see how this turns out.

I'm still in school, and I'm planning to continue on and stydy Events Management. Organising stuff is right up my lane.
I love theatre, and I'm trying out different things I like working with. Both on stage and off. I love reading in general, and right now I'm reading a lot of plays. At the moment my favourite playwriter is Oscar Wilde. "The Importance of Being Earnest" is one of the most brilliant things I've ever read.
When it comes to fanfiction, I consider myself to be rather experienced. I've been reading for a little over three years. At times I have strayed, but Buffy is my undisputable main fandom. I have tried a LOT of parings, however I read mostly slash, and I mostly read Spander. Spangel is my second favourite, and I also have a love for Angel/Cordelia (pretty much the only het I like). Giles is one of my absolute favourite characters, and I can read him paired up with most. Mainly Eathan and Xander, though.
I probably prefer AtS to BtVS, but I try not to compare. They are very differnt in my oppinion. I really like the Angel in AtS a lot more than the Angel in Buffy (no pun intended).

So, who am I then? Besides what I like doing or reading. My boyfriend, before we got together, once called me pragmatic. And I think that says quite a lot. I've been through a lot of shit, and I had to grow up way too fast, but I wouldn't change anything, because all that shaped me into who I am, and I'm very fond of me.
What I like about all three of Joss Whedon's series is that it's a lot about made families. I really believe that you make your own family, and that blood isn't the most important thing. My best friends mean the world to me, where as I couldn't care less of what most of my so called kin do. I'm very protective of people close to me. And rather possessive. That is why I love having either Spike or Angel in what I read. Vampires make the most wonderful and sexy possessive lovers. Yummy!

Hmm, I think I'm pretty much done here.
Huggs and Kisses


Fandom wise, not that much has changed. I've just read more, and I'm so picky these days. I will happily stop reading a fic two chapters in because the characters didn't match, or because the author has zero grammar skills. There only so many times I can cope with a "then" when it should be a "than".

So I'm off to write a new "about me". And in a few years I can delete it for a new version, but keep the old one as a bit of the me of 2010.



My Indian (or PC Native American (I assume)) Name

Well, I tried at least. Below is the failed copy/pasting of the fun quiz thing.

Anyway, I am Panther Passing Across, which I think is a pretty cool name. I'm not an agressive in-your-face kind of panther, I'm the suave one inthe background, above people's petty lives I..  pass acorss.

<p>My Indian name is <b>Panther-passing-across</b>.<br /><a href="">Take English Native American Name Generator today!</a><br /><small>Created with <a href="">Rum and Monkey</a>'s <a href="">Name Generator Generator</a>.</small></p>

it's been a year

A little over 2 hours ago it changed from the 4th of January 2008 to the 5th. I haven't gone to sleep yet though, so it doesn't feel like a new day. "yesterday" was the 1 year anniversary of mine and D's. I can't believe I've been happily in love for a year. It's so surreal. Just read a post from the 4th of January 2007. That was the day everything changed. It was during the night from the 3rd to the 4th, and maybe it's weird of me to use the 4th as the date, due to the fact that, as I said, in my mind the day hadn't really changed. But I wanted to make that distinction, between the dates. Because on the 3rd we were friends, not very close, but on some level we had all the potential to be. Then, that night, it all changed, and I didn't want to claim our anniversary to be the day when we were actually just doing some friendly chatting and watching DVD's, and Math (which really just taints it all). I wanted it to be after, even if it still felt like the same day. But when we woke up, having slept about 2 hours, my whole world was upside down. 

I am madly in love! I love him with all my heart. He isn't perfect, he doesn't always get it, but he makes me a packed lunch when I'm going to the air port. He buys bamboo shoots because I once mentioned I like them, he lets me fiddle with his hair even though I know he thinks it's a bit annoying sometimes. He looks at me and I've never felt more beautiful. He spoons up against me on the sofa when I'm sick, and we watch films, we go to bed and I know he doesn't mind that we won't be doing anything, or that I'm wearing sweats and have a stuffed nose. He gets that happy look on his face when we're playing one of his games and he knows I'm doing it for him. I like them as well, but not as much as I like the way he gets that child like glee stuck to his face because he can't wait to play, and win. 
I love that there's something about him which has made it impossible for me to lie to him up to this point. I have evaded, and maybe not let him know everything, but he always seems to know when to ask what's wrong, and not let me get a way with a "it's nothing". It's that way he looks at me, the way it looks like he actually wants to know. He wants to be there for me, he sees things no one else has ever figured out. I don't want to lie to him, and I hope I won't become so insecure that I revert back to that habit, with him that is. I know I lie to other people, but I have no reason to trust them. I trust him.

I hope he will let me in more, I hope I will figure out how to be there for him. Right now I just listen, and understand. I want to think of a way to let him know that I understand. I wonder if he knows that I do? I think he feels I'm there for him, but I don't know if he needs me. I'm good at being needed, it's also so much easier than to need. I'm good at caring, which is also so much easier to do than to say I need to be cared for. But I do. I want him to need me, so I can need him. I want to care for him, so I can let him care for me. 

I love this man, and I won't let myself forget that, no matter what happens.



Happy Birthday Red!

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Red, happy birthday to you!"

Hope you have a Supercallifragilisticexpialidocious birthday!

A bucket of hugs to you on your special day! 

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something I wrote

This is a short scene, in script format. Down stage means close to the audience, up stage is the opposite. Stage right is from the actors point of view, facing the audience. Center stage is in the middle. 

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congratulatins to Red!

I just want to officially congratulate red_in_leather on her new job!
She's worked so hard, and I can't think of anyone else who deserves this chance more than her.
*Hugs tightly*

Congratulations, honey! You'll do great!


fic obsessions

and I'm so hooked on toobusy2write's new fic "pivotal. Great Spangel, with so much UST I'm climbing off the walls!

And I'm still loving "parity transformations" by suki_blue. Harry/Draco , which I've like never read or really liked. A ab AU and I'm trying to patiently wait for updates, but it's very hard

Lit_gal has taken up "experience curve" again and may I just say *squeeeel* *bounce* YAY!

Ps. does anyone know how to make an LJ user name a link?